Monday, July 2, 2012

No Regrets

I’m currently in LA International Airport, waiting for the Malaysian Airlines counter to be open. My journey back to Malaysia started at 5am this morning, when I boarded my flight in Madison.

I’ve spent a few days packing, thinking about the things I should and should not bring home. The process seemed never ending. At the same time, it was painful to know that it would a very very long time before I actually get a chance to visit Madison again. It’s not like a can take a $200 flight to Madison. It was a one-time opportunity, a very priceless one. I knew I would handle leaving Madison pretty well, since I spent my time here to the fullest. But when I was lying on my bed, I didn’t sleep well. I could here everything happening in the living room—my friends playing games, trying to keep awake before they send me off. There was a moment when I almost panicked…I’m gonna miss everything so badly. And more importantly, what happens next? I wanted to run to my friends to tell them that I was worried, and that I couldn’t sleep. But somehow I couldn’t lift myself up from the bed—I couldn’t budge.

When the noise broke down, I knew it was time for me to wake up. I took a quick shower, hoping that the cold water would soothe the pain that my back was experiencing. I was nervous thinking about the lonely-2-day journey back home.

I quickly had the ayam goreng that my friends made during the sleepover. The chicken that was supposed to be delicious had no taste in my mouth (which is very unusual for someone like me who loves to eat). I think I was a little shocked that I was going home. I couldn’t wait to go home, but at the same time, I didn’t want to…

As I was saying goodbye to some of my friends, I realized how many I really have. I have more than I expected. Being myself, most of the time, I study alone, take classes alone…basically most of the time, I’m always alone. It can be pretty tough, especially when I need to struggle in my studies. That’s why sometimes among the million faces, I felt pretty lonely. So I had to look some way to survive. But I guess that’s the reason I have my Malaysian friends and my non-Malaysian friends. They’ve balanced my life in Madison.  And without their presence my life would not have been the same here.

Thinking back, I really enjoyed living in Madison. It may be more kampung compared to NYC or San Fransisco but who cares? I was able to gain a lot from my experiences there. I took 2 years of Arabic (which I never thought I would), and I worked for VIP and met a bunch of awesome people. I ate all types of food, I met the people—I really lived life to the fullest.

In the next post I'll specifically write about my experiences in Madison. Right now I'm really hungry :p