Sunday, October 30, 2011

Black and White

nothing is really black and white.

things would be easier sometimes right? if there's a line that draws between right and wrong.

but let's face it, life is far more complex than that.

yesterday my friends and i were hanging out in the kitchen and we were suddenly talking about general stuff and then suddenly someone brought up this speaker on campus who seems "liberal" pertaining to her views on Islam.

one of my friends said "She's Islamic eh? I didn't know that, i thought she was liberal".

in my opinion, that lady may be more liberal compared to what Malaysians are used to but i got thrown off when some people didn't think she was islamic or even had islamic concerns.

i guess we still have a framework where we attach religiosity and appearance. yes, appearance does in some extent reflect who we are as individuals but i think we forget that Allah is the one and only who can truly judge the heart. we forget that sincerity and or niat is important in determining whether our actions are accepted.

we forget that there are many views pertaining certain issues. i'm not saying that there are many truths or many versions of Islam but if they do things based on valid reasonings that do not clash with Islamic teachings, then we shouldn't really say that he or she is unislamic or whatever.

i thnk we should be more open minded and listen to different perspectives and chose what is right. i don't think we should curb certain speakers from speakers just because we, as Malaysians think that he or she is liberal.

if we keep on doing that, then we will never be able to think for ourselves.

i know that many people have difficulty in explaining about our faiths because we often do as we were taught, and never really contemplating WHY we are doing it. and when a non-Muslim questions us, we often just keep quiet because we are shocked by what we hear and most importantly, we do not know how to defend ourselves.

im not saying that liberalism is all that good, but we shouldn't think that there is only one perspective out there. we shouldn't attach religiosity and appearance because often times is misleading.

im not trying to preach. I'm not in the position to preach. but i don't think we should really think of other people in that way either because without realizing it, we are marginalizing them.

and is that what we really want?

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Really, What Do I Want to Be?

at this stage, i still don't know what i wanna be, the path i wanna take.

it looks like all my friends have figured things out. and as usual, i'm lost.

when i was young i wanted to be a policeman, then a fireman then...a singer.

apart of me wants to design clothes for muslim girls.

a whole part of me just wants to be a wife, and a mom.

but then as time passes by, the more time i spend doing readings for my 'environmental conservation' class, somehow i feel that malaysian environment needs to be protected.

and i'm not just talking about animal rights etc, going green etc.

of course that's important. but people often think that when we talk about the environment, humans aren't included.

but we very much are.

malaysia is a thriving developing country and iA we will continue to develop for the better.

however if we don't think about the important things such as the well being of our people and would rather gain economic gain, then in the long run, who will benefit?

somehow i think malaysians are generally not that environmental friendly.

am i wrong?

am i being too judgmental?

im not sure.

i just don't wanna malaysia to be one of those countries where the leaders are so keen on gaining economic gain that in reality, the people are suffering from different aspects such as health etc.

taking this course has opened my eyes.

i know many people think that malaysia might have other bigger problems but let's not forget that problems can arise from other aspects as well.

Monday, October 10, 2011


a few days ago, i called my dad through Skype and we were just catching up.

he was updating about his latest book that he has been working on and i was telling him about the courses that i am currently taking and why i love it so much.

despite taking 15 credits (in addition to 3rd semester arabic) and working 10 hours a week, i think i'm pretty much satisfied. Alhamdulillah, i am happy because for the first time in my life i actually feel like i'm independent. i know my dad can afford to give me money if i really needed it. in fact, he has told me to ask if i needed any but the the thing is, i was never really good at asking money from my parents especially because the US exchange rate is higher. ever since young. i was reluctant to ask but finally, i am making my own money so i don't have to depend on my parents all the time (financially that is).

i feel satisfied working, making my own money. it's not like i use to buy loads of stuff, i just like the idea that i have extra money whenever i need it. i'm still a frugal lil girl because i was never used to buying expensive stuff. i use most of my money to travel and nowadays, i think i don't think that much when I'm hungry huhuh.

more importantly, i am glad i found a part time job that suits me well. being an information guide makes me feel good because i'm able to assist people whenever they need help. as a parent program intern, I'm able to use my unique background as an international student to help parents of international students with quieries regarding school.

life is good, alhamdulilla :)