Monday, May 23, 2011

Malaysian and Madison Girl at Heart

(hanging out by the lake)

i love studying here, in Madison.

i never feel like i'm studying whenever i have to do my readings. maybe because they're really interesting. enlightening. or maybe it's because i'm a nerd.

it could be both.

but whatever, i don't care.

(soup and Kabul Restaurant)

i love every single thing about this place.

i like the fact that madioson isn't a big arse city like the NYC.

i like how everything is so...within reach.

i like how the chancellor allows and more importantly, encourages political participation. despite their political stand.

i think that is really important. when you have both sides actively moving political discourse, it not only stimulates thinking, but it leads to change. abrupt change may not be good but if there's more than just one side talking, then you you're constantly thinking of ways to make things better.

(stuffed artichoke)

i'm probably not making any sense, as usual.

did i tell you how much i love my teachers here?

i really feel like they really know what they're talking about. their stands on certain things may not be right, but that's up to the student. whether or not they want to accept what their teacher is saying. i don't mind hearing other peoples' ideas. i think it's important in molding my own framework.

(lamb couscous)

i know for a fact that they really take teaching seriously. most of my teachers really want their students to learn. to gain knowledge. and go through so much just to make sure we understand what we're learning. i love them. really, i do. they really inspire me to become good educators in the future. (apart from getting inspiration from my own parents, of course!)

take the good and leave the bad.

ambil yang jernih, buang yang keruh.


of course, i don't feel like i could assimilate into the mainstream american culture. i feel uncomfortable going to parties because i don't like big crowds (i feel like i cant breathe and im afraid people are gonna step on me). obviously, i dont drink. i have a number of friends who take me out to places and we have a good time. of course, american life isnt just about parties. i think i'm able to connect with many of my colleagues but because i don't really hang out with them, i don't have that extra bond. my collagues are very nice people and i do love them. it's just that i wish they could see the fun crazy side of me that my close friends are able to see. usually, it takes a long time for me to warm up to people. i'm usually shy, and reserved. so yeah, there are plenty of reasons why i don't think i will fully assimilate.

(wen li <3)

but can a person really do that?

fully assimilate in a different culture? we share many of the same values but the differences are there. and sometimes it is the differences that make the difference.

i'm a malaysian + muslim girl at heart.

i hope as time passes, my colleagues and i will have a stronger bond.

i hope we'll learn from each other. from different cultures.

Sunday, May 22, 2011


these past few weeks have been very very tiring for me.

now, wait...this whole semester has been killing me. but Alhamdulillah, i'm glad that everything is over. midwest games is around the corner and i'm just happy that that is gonna end. soon.

i know i have been whining and stressing about a lot of things. the past semester was pretty tough for me but Alhamdulillah, when i got back my grades, i was surprised that i did really well. in fact, i have never done better than this in my whole academic life. I thank God for everything that has happened. i realized that God has given me a lot of rezeki like my job, friends and education. everyday i pray that whatever happens, how many obstacles i may have, i hope that i overcome them. I know i often feel like dying in the process of things, but i guess it's just how i work.

i've learned that you shouldn't be too busy with things. i don't know, i just wouldn't want to be too busy. i'm not that kind of person actually. the only reason i wanted a job was so that i could travel (and you know where) without having to starve myself. and then when the midwest committee was being established, i felt that i had some sort of responsibility to be in it. never do that.

i'm not regretting being in the committee, i just wished i could have chosen to be inlvoved in these things at different times. the past semester everything happened all at once and i was pretty overwhelmed.

but thank God i have very supportive friends and family. i would not be able to do this without them.

and i feel very bad because sometimes i express my anger or nervousness to people who instead, should only be treated with pure love. at times i wonder whether anyone would ever stay with me, whether or not they see me as stupid and selfish once they know my true colors.

that's the thing...

it's time like these when i realize who my true friends are. who really love me.

most people see me as mature and self-composed (surprisingly). well, they haven't seen me during my worst times.

they haven't seen me when i'm insecure, when i'm crazy...

thank you, for putting up with me <3

Thursday, May 12, 2011

My Arabic Class

I'm going to miss my friends from Arabic class.

even though i dont understand what my teacher is saying sometimes but i still enjoye it overall.


Monday, May 9, 2011

Self Satisfaction

No sickness worse than fancying thyself perfect
Can infect thy soul, O arrogant, misguided one!
Shed many tears of blood from eyes and heart,
That this self-satisfaction may be driven out.
The fate of Iblis lay in saying, "I am better than He,"
And this same weakness lurks in the souls of all creatures.

Jalaluddin Rumi.

as humans, we make mistakes. sometimes we don't realize the things we say or do. our actions may not match our good intentions.

therefore be careful.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

With Subtitles!

I dedicate this to my family and friends.

I made subtitles for you :)

Hope you get what we're talking about hehehehhe.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

"The Chicken"

this is a video that my friends and i had to do for our arabic class.

the grammar is all wrong, of course. acting while keeping a straight face for this video was super hard.

i have to say, this is the craziest skit we have ever done.

i love my friends. they are really crazy. just like me. hehehhee.

i think this semester we did 4 skits and this was the last one.

enjoy :)

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Strangers, again

i am sharing this video that my friend adeera has shared with me.

it's basically about the diffeent stages in a relationship.

when i watched it, i got scared. because it somehow felt so real, it felt so close to home.

what i can say is that if you really want a relationshop to work, you really need work hard to maintain the relationship. it's just like marriage. but at times it's more difficult because you don't have that official bond and repsonsibility to keep you together.

sometimes it costs money.

sometimes it makes you insane.

it takes a lot of patience. and faith. a lot of faith.

we need faith to see what will happen. we need faith to believe. not everything is black and white.

and at the same time, you need to keep one eye open.

let's just hope that all of our relationships don't end up that way.