Sunday, November 4, 2007

somethings i didn't see

you know when you watch american idol and you see the horrible participants (who think they can really sing but actually they sound worse than croaking toad?) crying when they were unable to go to the next round. surprisingly these group of people were there with their supporting parents. you understand how some people can be in denial about themselves but sometimes you wonder about their parents. are there parents too, in denial or are they just plain cowards because they're too afraid of telling their kids the painful truth?

somehow i think my parents are...or were...like that.

you know how parents like to praise their kids hoping that their kids gain confidence and have a lot of self-esteem. well, since i was really ugly as a child and started reading late...i assumed that almost every praise was to be contributed to my confidence n self-esteem. i mean, that is a parent's duty. u're supposed to tell your kids that they're smart eventhough they aren't, tell your kids that they're the best baby in the world (sounds familiar,mom?) when you do them a small favor and the list goes on...

but the thing is...i didnt know that what my parents have been saying actually have some truth in it-until i handed in my psychology report. (i actually posted my report. its the 2nd one)

my lecturer said that this report should be honest. he said we could write it like how we write in our journals. so i did.

i just wrote what i felt. i didn't think much, though. i just wrote.

apparantly he said that my report was very good. he mentioned that to me as he was passing the quiz one day.

then when i went to see him for an individual evaluation, he told me again that he enjoyed my report. i went through the report again and saw the comments that he gave me.

unsatisfied, i asked him why he thought it was good.

according to him, he said he liked the language. (wth? i dont use big words. it's so blardee simple). when i told him what i thought at the moment, he said it was clear and precise. he said that when he read it, it was as if he was inside my head. he liked the humor and sincerity in it.he liked the way i expressed myself. it was heartfelt and genuine.

u have no idea how hard it was to control the smile on my face.

it wasn't the praise but it was more of the fact that he saw the potential in me. i've always thought that my writing was aite~ but i didnt know that it had that much of an impact on the reader.

what he saw in me...i didn't.

and so naturally, i told my dad about it. he told me to send him a copy and so i obeyed. after he read it, he called me up and said that it was a really good piece of work. he didn't think that i would write that well at such an early stage. he was impressed and said that i should be proud of myself.

when i came back home, i showed it to my mom. and she too, liked it.

i guess parents don't lie.they really do see potential in their kids. well, i cant find an explanation about those ppl who join american idol each year. but since people besides my parents said i write well, that motivates me to have a courier in writing. i dont know exactly what i want to do but i do know that i would want to write at least one book.

a book especially for teens.

a message telling the kids that u don't have to succumb to the typical shallow teen life in order to have a good life.

i've passed that stage (it was challenging, i must say) and there are many xperiences that i had to undergo and that i'd like to share with the world. i know it might not be anything like wht my dad's works but i do have something to say.

thank you mom n dad for believing in me.
and the rest too
:)

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