My Final New Year in the USA

It has been too long since I've written a post and since then, a lot has happened...

Finals for Fall 2011 passed by and Alhamdulillah, I did well. Far better than I expected.

Then it was time for my winter break.

And this time...guess where we headed?

Rock City-Orlando-Bahamas-Miami-New Orleans-Memphis-St Louis

Yup, that's right. The twelve of us took 2 vans and drove from Madison all the way, all through those places.

And it was wonderful, Alhamdulillah. I've never felt so blessed. Of course, my life is blessed in so many ways and this is just one of them.

It was an awesome adventure. I went with a good group of people. And amazingly, nothing went wrong this time. The chemistry between all of us was really good and everything went as planned except...

When we were driving through Alabama, we were pulled over.By cops, of course.

When they opened the door, the officer said asked one of my friends, "What school do you go to?"

"SUNNY at Buffalo, NY".

"I've never heard of that university before. Where is that?"

At that moment I was like, "Stupid cop." Of course, that was only in my head.

Then, we were harassed with so many questions....

"What country are you from?"

"What's the capital?"

"What's the national bird?"

"We don't have a national bird, we have a national flower", I answered, trying hard to hide my agitation.

One my friends who was the co-driver had just woken up and so he was naturally groggy.

The other office said, "What's wrong? You can't speak?"

They continued on with their questions etc. They didn't give us a ticket (Thank God!) but by the end of the interrogation, he tried to butter the situation by shaking our hands and ending the 'conversation' with a smile.

What an a**

When I told this to my employer, she said "Aaah, I was worried when you mentioned that you passed by the South. It's a different world down there".

Oh yeah it freakin is.

She apologized for their behavior. Everyone's (my American friends and co-workers) faced changed when I told them about that experience. When I told my sisters, they laughed.

Why was their such a different response?

Probably because Muslims expect that that would happen. I mean so far, I have not received such racist remarks. But then again I knew that this was bound to happen. I think my American friends were probably very ashamed of their behavior and thus, their angered expression. When I told my Muslim friends they say, "Well at least you didn't get a ticket."

The different privilege that people have influence their way of adapting situations like that.

After reading how cartoonists can draw discriminating and disrespectful things of the Prophet SAW and how they can justify that burning the Quran is freedom of speech, getting pulled over by cops and being harassed to me, seems to be the least troubling thing.

Funny how the world works.

Well, aside from that HAHAHAHHAHAHA i had an awesome time.

HERE ARE THE PICTURES FOR YOU TO SEEEE:



(Georgia--credits to Aiman)



(In front of Hogwarts)



(Always wanted to be a princess_credits to Aiman)



(Miami_credits to Adam)



(New Orleans_credits to Adam)



(Graceland, Elvis)



(Cigar Shop in Miami)

What Would Fanon Say...

Currently, I'm taking HIST 279 which is basically History of Pan-African Slavery.

At first I kind of dreaded the class because there was so much readings that the Prof assigned. But as time passed, as he explained the major themes, I began to like the subject. I began to like it especialy because I see the reverberations of slavery and colonialism in the world today...and even when applied to Malaysian context.

A few months ago, we had to read an article by Fannon.

Fanon was born during the years of slavery. I can't remember whether he was a slave, but he grew up in that community. He was talking about how ex-slaves wanted to be like theh French really bad and they did it by trying to speak French. Many of them believed that by speaking French, you have more advancement in the society of Martinique. Some ex-slaves who were trying to master the language had an attitude change, or maybe even change of mentality. They thought and somehow felt that they were better than their peers because they acquired this langauge of power. Many of them worked abroad for the French, and unfortunately, they were not able to work the positions that they hoped for. Despite their attempt in speaking French, they were still discriminated againts because they were black and thus they were seen as inferior.

So these ex-slaves, when they returned home, they somehow felt displaced within their own society. Why? Because they already had a different mentality compared to their people in their hometown, and so they couldn't really mix well. Yeah, maybe their people were jealous of the fact that they had opportunities but Fanon was saying that their dislocation caused them to have an identity crisis. And these where the long-lasting psychological effects of colonialism...

When I was reading this all I was thinking about was Malaysia.

I was thinking about the whole debate about teaching Science and Math in English.

I love English and I'm not anti-Western or anything like that. Initially I thought wth would the government wanna abolish that policy and return kids to learn those two subjects in Malay? I thought learning that in English would improve their understanding of English as a whole....

But then my sime of my friends had told me that they had family members in rural schools and they did not understand simple English to begin with. In many cases, teachers themselves were not equipped enough in teaching Math and Science in English so when you don't understand the medium of instruction, how could you understand more complicated matters? I was told that some teachers just gave the answers to students and so actually the students didnt really learn anything.

That was one aspect of the debate.

The other aspect is that according to many scholars, replacing the Malay language with English is undermining its status as the national language. Ar first I thought nah, I don't think so...but when people say stuff like our country can't move forward because we still use Malay as a medium instruction is in itself, backwards. To me, it's like your saying that the only way for a country to be advance is if the country uses English in certain areas? Hmmm, I don't really think so. When I heard this I was thinking of France and Japan. Those are two countries that are very advance but yet they still use their own language. In fact, they are very proud of their cultural identity.

So in my head I was thinking, why can't we be like them?

Learning and mastering different languages isn't bad, but thinking we can't be advance because we use our language as the medium of instruction is to me, backwards.

Without realizing it I think many of us are still colonized--mentally.

My Moment with Mat Kearney

Last weekend, I had the privilege of seeing Mat Kearney perform.

When I ask my friends whether they've heard of him, most say that they don't know him. But most of my American friends do. When i heard that he was going to perform in Madison, I was so excited. I started playing his songs back to back until my roommate becomes familiar with his songs.

His songs are very motivational. His lyrics has substance. When I'm sad or when I'm down, whenever I listen to his songs I feel like he's talking to me. It's like we're in the same boat.

You probably think I'm crazy and lame but sometimes life can be pretty challenging and at times, pretty lonely.

Sometimes you try really hard at something, and you wish so bad that you'd get it. You keep on trying and trying but sometimes trying hard seems pointless and you feel like giving up.



Of course, I tell myself that insyaAllah with good intentions, one day I will be rewarded. But just sometimes when you see how people who don't try hard often do so much better, they get what they want etc.

His songs somehow reflect that he's gone through all that too.

"If you find yourself lost out in this world, then i will find a way back to your side. No mountain is too high, no stone is too small I build a bridge through the fire, for you i would crawl from New York to California..."

From his song "From NY to California".

Okay, so by now you know I love him for his songs, and his music.

So last weekend my friend and I went to Overture Center and I was front row. It was nice because I was surrounded by girls so I felt safe and I didn't feel like I had to restrain myself.



Sometimes I felt like he was looking straight at me. LIKE REALLY STRAIGHT AT ME. I actually chose a bright colored hijab, hoping he'd notice me in the crowd. But then again I thought maybe I was just crazy.

As we were enjoying his performance, there was a group of 5-6 30 year-old women who just came in front of us and were making a racket, being all rowdy and stuff. They were rude, making so much noise when Mat was performing and talking. It was obvious that everyone didn't like them and how they were behaving. Some of them tried to go on stage 3 times. One of his staff had to tell them to get off the stage twice. And after that Mat KEarney had to tell her "Sorry, but you're gonna have to get off stage...".

All I can say is, "IN YOUR FACE!"

So after they left, I was just enjoying the music.

I think Mat was distracted by them, he probably didn't know how to deal with them because they were obviously his fans but they were being a nuisance.

After the concert was over, Liyana and I did our usual thing-- we waited for him at the back door.

HAHA.

After waiting in the cold, he finally came out.



"Hi, I'm Mat," he said.

"Sofiya", I blushed.

"You were in front where you?"

MOMENT OF MY LIFEEEEEEEEE. THERE YOU GO. I WAS NOTICED BY MAT KEARNEY.

Of course, how couldn't he? I was the only girl wearing a head scarf in the whole concert.

I was just so happy <3

Of course after that I felt like I had to say something to him so i said....



"You should come to Malaysia!"

At that moment I was like oh what a stupid thing to say....

"I would love to," he said.

I felt like running away. So stupid haha.

Oh well, it was a good concert :)

I love you Mat KEarney!

Oh moral of the story: when you wanna meet an artist, think ahead of what you wanna say.

AND IM GONNA UPLOAD THE PIC OF US TOGETHER <3

A Small Space

In between classes, I often need to find an appropriate place to pray.

When I say a place I don't mean a surau or a masjid, but a corner of an empty class or a place in between bookshelves.

A small clean place for us to pray--for only around 10 minutes.

Sometimes your heart beats fast because of the surrounding that you're in while your praying, God knows whether or not my prayers are accapted. I hope so.

But today when I prayed Zuhur at the third floor of the Red Gym, I felt a certain calmness that you can't really describe.

Being a good Muslim can be difficult at times regardless of where you are. But practising Islam in a country where the majority aren't Muslims has certainly opened my eyes. It has made me think and appreciate things which I have taken granted before.

It's funny how this small space can make some people content and happy.

Malaysia, where are we heading?

okay okay.

i know lately, i have been writing a lot about the enviornment and yadda yadda yadda. i know most people would laugh if they heard that i might wanna be an environmentalist because they can't imagine me without my dresses and being a serious person protecting the enviornment.

i think the issue is that most people think that environmentalists only protect the enviornment. when you hear 'enviornmentalist' you might imagine tree-hugging people.

but actually protecting the environment is more than just protecting the ecosystem.

we depend on these resources and how we value and manage them will determine how long we can use them. so if we don't manage this well, then we'll be in a lot of trouble.

coming from a developing country, trust me, i believe that we should thrive in this world and gain economic profit but at the same time i do believe that we should try to sustain what we have. people from certain countries believe that GDP is the real measurement of development but i think that's BS. the GDP doesn't really measure things like happiness. if we really hang on to that yardstick, then we'll be obsessed with making money, wanting to be "developed" like indsutrialized countries. their definition of "development" is different from what ours should be. i think most don't emphasize on spiritual growth and therefore in the race to increase wealth, we often lose our spirituality.

is there a model where we can grow economically and at the same time, sustain our environment? and of course, make sure that we also grow spiritually?

it seems like a lot to do.

trust me, I'm all for development but at the same time i care for the environment and the long term use that it provides.

so many questions, so many issues.

No Worries

‎"Go easy on yourself, for the outcome of all affairs is determined by God’s decree. If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come your way, but if it is yours by destiny, from you it cannot flee."-Umar [ibn al-Khattab] (R.A.)

all i feel like doing is to go home and not care about anything else. PLEASE?